How It All Changed
by nathy.faithy
Summary: An important member of the flock passes and it's hard on each and every one of them. Prompt: "From underneath the thin layer of snow, the first bloom of springtime emerged. He resisted the temptation to crush it under his heel."


_A huge thank you to theriverscribe who allowed me to ran and play with her **"By the Grace of God"** universe and is the most adorable beta ever!_

In case you haven't read this amazing series, please do yourself a favor and go read it! 

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Gabriel watched solemnly as Mary's body was tenderly laid on the pyre by Nuriel, one of the many angels the old woman had kept underneath her 'wings' so to speak. He cast his eyes up to the sky only to see it was as rebellious as he, big dark clouds covered the sun darkening their day with a quiet rumble of thunder. The sky was as mournful as the old messenger felt.

The archangel's eyes fell on the grass underneath his shoes and a confused eyebrow was lifted, for from underneath the thin layer of snow, the first bloom of springtime emerged. He resisted the temptation to crush it beneath his heel.

 _How inconsiderate of nature to blossom even on the gloomiest days._

It was vile and heartbreaking. Gabriel didn't see reason in making their youngest fledgling suffer. True, Sam would be able to visit his mother whenever it urged him, but that didn't make this any easier. This loss was extremely significant. Not just for the boy, but their entire flock.

Mother Mary had been an entire revelation to him, he was known for seeing the best in every creation his father made and his owns as well - _hello platypus_ \- and Gabriel loved as freely and easily as only God's favorite could, but still this small human had been his biggest surprise.

She had somehow adopted him and his siblings without much thought, making room in her heart for each and every one of them.

So yes, Gabriel would very much like to crush that stupid overly charming flower with his heel. _How dare something so exquisite to mock their pain on such a cold, dark day?_

Sam sighed loudly at his side and Gabriel's fingers tightened on the boy's shoulder, offering him reassurance and grounding the young fledgling to the present. Sam's hand found his and he felt tiny fingers curl against his palm.

A moment later, the archangel lost his hold on the boy as Sam ran out into the field. Looking forward he saw the boy kneeling in front of the single brave flower – the same one Gabriel had found to be incredibly cocky for his liking. Sam touched it with extra care, his fingers gracing each petal.

Suddenly, he felt Raphael in his mind. The Healer's tone was still curious and questioning after all these years, _What is the child doing now, Gabriel?_

 _I am not entirely sure, Raph_. Retorted Gabriel, his head tilted in observation, very much like his younger brother Castiel.

 _Let Samuel be, both of you._ Chimed in Castiel's voice, gentle but firm.

"Cas!" Sam called with a strange happiness in his voice, startling all humans and angels gathered in place for his mother's funeral.

"It's a marigold–mom's favorite flower! Do you think God, I mean Chuck, will be angry if I pick it to give to mom one last time before we burn her body?"

"I can assure you, Samuel, Father won't mind," Raphael told him, his grace reaching to envelop the boy in a quick warm hug.

Sam smiled at him before his curious hazel eyes shifted to Dean's. His older brother was standing in front of the pyre, his arms resting at each side of him, his posture somehow respectful and relaxed at the same time.

The not-so-young fledgling smiled despite the circumstances. He might have lost his mother, but his brother would be forever with him, suspended in his thirty-five-years-old body. All thanks to Cas.

When Dean was severely wounded in a hunting and nothing but sharing grace would heal him, Castiel hadn't thought twice before bonding himself to the human. Gabriel beamed as his mind drifted to the fond memory. Cas, with his serene exterior, had calmly explained to the screaming and enraged hunter that it was plain and simple–they already shared a profound bond. What was so bad that about them sharing a deeper, more meaningful, one?

It took time before Dean understood (with Sam's help) that grace sharing was a lot like marriage, and that this new bond allowed Cas to feel his emotions and thoughts. No one was surprised when the hunter admitted he was dating the angel a couple of weeks later. Sam had giggled like only a fledgling could, scaring his mother and brother, but delighting the angels. He was happy. Deliriously so, for his brother and his best friend.

But now, as he picked the flower ever so gently, Gabriel could feel this mix of sadness and happiness within Sam. The boy seemed relieved to know he would be able to see his mom but still sad he had to watch her endure death. Sam flew easily towards the pyre, finding a spot to sit on the carefully arranged planks of woods.

"Hi, Mom," he whispered, his voice smooth and child-like. In one of his small hands, he held the flower, a white marigold. It was very fitting to the occasion. Sam found his mother's cold fingers and slipped the flower inside of them, resting both of her hands over her womb. Mary's face was serene with her short white hair and smiling lips. She had died in peace, surrounded by love and family. The family she had adopted throughout the years had been little and broken, but still good.

Gabriel watched as Sam kissed his mother's forehead and flew down again, inserting himself between Cas and Dean. He reached for them and Cas enveloped his right hand with his larger one while Dean did the same on Sam's left. They both cast glances at the boy, smiling kindly at him.

The archangel exhaled, remembering a particular day he had shared with Mary; Sam had finally, finally slept after a tiring training only to wake up in middle sleep by a particularly bad dream of Lucifer, who had been trying to approach the family to ask for forgiveness being more than a bit aware that he did not deserve it. The fledgling had cried for his mother, pushed his brother and only calmed down after not only his entire flock was in the room with him including his giant puppy. The fur ball had shifted down to his tiny form to fit inside the boy's arms it took all their combined graces and his mother's words to relax the boy and bring him back to a restful sleep.

But that wasn't Gabriel's favorite moment. His favorite moment was when Mary entered the kitchen two hours later to check on him because differently from Castiel, Raphael, and Michael, he had been incapable of rest. Cas had gone back to the room he shared with Dean, Raph and Mike talked among themselves, the angel radio keeping the bunker as quiet as ever.

Mary had found him sitting in one of the many chairs in the empty kitchen. He'd heard her soft footsteps approach him, but didn't move. His grace and mind were just too tired.

"Hey, Gabe, why are you here alone? Sam and Morpheus could use your company. You know Sam loves to have you around." she told him, in a cheerful tone, always grateful for the supernatural dog he had gifted Sam some years ago.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled, wishing for a hot cocoa, but way too exhausted to even summon one.

"Why don't I make some comfort drink and food for you, hmm, little man?" she suggested warmly.

Gabriel wanted to protest, he really did, but truth was that besides Sam, he was the smallest of the boys. "Just for the record, I'm average size." He replied, pouting as she waltzed around the kitchen.

"It's an endearment, Gabe," Mary vowed, standing near him. Her fingers ran through his honeyed locks before dropping to caress his shoulders. She rested her hand there, adding, "I thought by now you could recognize one miles away."

Gabriel glanced at her, his hand covering hers, accepting her motherly comfort. He sighed and explained, "Sometimes, Sam's past affects me more than I allow others to see. If I had been less than a jerk and more of an archangel, he might have been saved from oh, so much pain. But he forgave me so fast like he does with Cas and Dean and I'm not sure I deserved that."

"Oh, Gabriel. I used to pray for you when Sam was a baby. I always told the boys angels were watching over them, I just never realized it would be so quite literal." Gabriel nodded, letting go of Mary's delicate hand. "Why me? Why pray to me for Sammich?" The archangel asked, unsure of himself.

"Well, I imagined since you are the God's messenger and protector, Sam would be safe from the demons I knew were just waiting for me to let my guard down. I wished to believe you were real. I mean, if demons were real, I figured angels were too, you know?" Mary told him, smiling, as she shrugged her left shoulder and picked some ingredients from inside the cabinet.

"Humans are such an intriguing race. You have faith in things you don't even know are real, afraid even, hopeful–" Gabriel said, as a matter of fact, his whiskey eyes following Mary's every move. "I wish I had been in heaven. Maybe I would have listened to your prayers and could have watched him earlier."

Mary put the pan on the stove with a mix of milk, sugar, dark chocolate and vanilla inside and turn the flames on. It took just a second for the smell to hit him full force, he closed his eyes in pleasure. When he opened them again, he found Mary busying herself with toasts and filling two cups of the finished beverage.

"Oh, Mary! You are Father sent!" Gabriel exclaimed, sipping the drink with gusto.

She smiled, distracting him with the tale of when Dean learned he was going to be a big brother. The archangel had laughed because little Dean had vowed to be the 'bestest brother ever' and Gabriel had to agree the boy had kept his word, Sam had turned to be one of the best humans he had ever meet, the most complex and the most forgiving. Mary had kissed his hair and wished him a goodnight before disappearing inside her room.

Tears shined in Gabriel's eyes, oh father, he was gonna miss her dearly.

Sariel picked a torch and with a snap Gabriel light the flames. Dean murmured another goodbye while Sam clutched his and Castiel's fingers. The flames engulfed Mary's body and they watched until her entire frame was completely gone. Sam relaxed his fingers and walked towards Gabriel, extending his arms above his head in a gesture Gabriel had grown to recognize as a plea for comfort. And he knew the comfort was more for himself than to Sam.

"Thank you, kiddo." he murmured, resting his nose on Sam's neck, while the boy's legs hugged his torso like a monkey would do.

"It's 'kay, Gabe. We have each other and we can visit mom very soon," Sam reminded him.

"Yeah, kiddo. We can. Love ya." Gabriel told him, hugging him tighter to his chest.

"Love you too," Sam answered, setting his head on Gabriel's shoulder, suddenly tired and sleepy.

Nuriel, Zadkiel, and Sariel flew above them, Cas and Dean opting for riding on the impala and Gabriel snapping himself to the bunker with Sam fast asleep in his arms. He tucked Sam in his bed and called for Morpheus who jumped in and curled up beside the boy.

And that night Gabriel did what had become his routine for a long time now. He sat down and guarded Sam's dreams.


End file.
